Feelings

There are no rules as to how you will feel when someone you love dies.  You may feel lots of different emotions - here are just some of them and some ideas that might help deal with them.  You might feel all of them or none of them or different ones.

Feelings Cookies
using icing tubes and small sweets (dolly mixtures, smarties) ice faces onto digestive biscuits to show how you are feeling.  Eating the finished cookies and sharing them with friends and family may help too  - it's a good time to talk about how you are feeling.

Other things you may be experiencing are crying, not wanting to be alone, not eating, nightmares, wanting to be alone or struggling to sleep.  If these are happening to you its not unusual - try and talk to someone or try out the ideas on our 'Things To Do' page.

You may feel sad and upset a lot of time.  You may cry a lot or not at all.  Crying is ok - you are crying because you loved someone and it helps some of those feelings inside to escape.  Some times you will cry at silly things or for no real reason at all.  You may need a hug from someone you love or just someone to hold your hand

When someone dies things change and it feels like nothing will be the same again.  This is very scary - even for grown ups.  Try to tell someone how you feel or you could draw or make something scary like a spider or monster to show how you are feeling.  But don't forget it isn't wrong to feel like this.

ANGRY
When someone dies we often feel very angry - at the person who has died, at the people who are still alive and with ourselves.  Here are some ideas of things to do when you feel really angry...

YELL! or shout - you might want to do this in the garden so you don't scare anyone!
JUMP or stamp - jumping up and down on bubble wrap or egg boxes is really good - take the eggs out first though !
RUN or kick a ball
DRAW an angry picture - wax crayons are great for this - what colour is your anger ?
PUNCH - something safe not someone - like a pillow or the mattress
TELL - try and talk to someone about how angry you feel and if possible tell them why - you might not know and sometimes just telling someone helps you feel better.

Being happy doesn't mean you don't care ! You can still feel happy and enjoy laughing and joking but you might feel bad about it to - its very confusing.  Remember that the person you loved would not want you to be sad and laughing is a really good way to feel better.

You might be feeling very lonely and that no-one else understands or feels like you do.  Grown ups do feel all the same emotions as you. 
Teddys and Cuddlies
You might think you are too big for one but it does help to have something to hug and cuddle and talk to - at least they listen and don't answer back !